Early December, I started counseling for the first time ever. At that point, I'd spent the last year helping care for my mom as she battled cancer. At that point, I also had been living back home to help care for her for the last nine months. I was additionally on a 10-week leave from work as her need for care increased.
Here and there friends had suggested counseling with everything I had to deal with. My work covers the cost of eight sessions, so I finally took the plunge. While that's a whole other blog, it was my new therapist that recommended the book, Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. Previously, I hadn't heard of the book, but I recognized that the author was the CEO of Facebook.
The book was essentially about grief and living with option b, since option a was no longer an available, due to a loss. Sheryl Sandberg lost her husband suddenly while on vacation with their friends and family. They had young kids back at home at the time.
Several of things she experienced really resonated with me. First, she talked about the tragedy being "the elephant in the room," where some people don't know what to say, so they don't say anything. They ask how your day is going, while meanwhile you're dealing with a major loss that is all-encompassing. Second, she talked about how some people are non-question asking. Meaning, that they never ask anything. Some really are self-focused while others don't know what to ask. Third, she introduced her readers to the Kvetching Order. I found it super interesting. So, for my family, my mom is in the center of the circle. In the next circle are those next closest to the situation; my dad and I. From there, it's my mom's family, friends, and my dad's family. It said that you need to take care of who is in the circle with you and work in from there. I can't take care of those in the outside circles. I found that really freeing.
