Being an Only Child

I grew up as an only child. When my single mom got married, they wanted, but weren't able to have more kids. Often I'm asked by people with a young child to share my thoughts on it. Mainly they want me to say that I'm glad I didn't have siblings. As a child, I was happy to be the only child; I didn't have to share my parents. I wasn't spoiled with new cars and vacations like most people assume; my parents wanted me to learn the value of working hard for things like they did, which I now appreciate.

As I've gotten older, I realize what being an only child will really mean for me. When my dad went through a TIA (pre-stroke) and later cance,r I felt like I needed to be at all major appointments and obviously surgery. When my mom was suffering from and finally diagnosed with a lung disease I was there for all key appointments and when she had a lung biopsy (one of the most trying times in my life). The burden of my concern for them and the seriousness of each of their health issues jolted my whole life. They both told me I didn't have to be there for everything, but I did. I felt a great responsibility to be there to care for and comfort them. For these reasons and God's leading in my life, I've decided to spend my life in my hometown, near my family. I knew I would regret not being there if I ever moved away and I've realized I couldn't live with it. I asked my mom if all only children feel this way and she thought it was probably just me and the responsibility I put on myself. Since I'm the only child, I feel I should be there for them and I want to.

What is difficult is not having someone to go through this with. Not having someone to talk through things with that really know what I'm going through, someone to split responsibilities with. I get that some only children might have a significant other to go through this with, but I don't and it's hard. I know one day I'll have to possibly make some hard decisions essentially alone and that thought is overwhelming. I do find comfort in that God is always with me, so essentially I'm not alone, but having a sibling would be nice.

Also, I feel more responsibility to take care of myself since I'm all my parents have. I can't be reckless ever or at least I feel I can't be. They always tell me to be careful and stay safe, literally every time I talk to them. So, no cliff diving for me ;) To be a little more serious, I know I'm huge part of their world and that I have to be around for them.

In the end, everyone must make a decision on what they think is best for there family, but I would never plan to only have one child. There are definitely more challenges and things you have to think about is deciding what's best for your family. If you ask me how many kids I want, it's always been 4. Essentially the opposite of one child.

Do you have any thoughts on the subject? I'd love to hear!