Music: Head Above Water by Avril Lavigne

In high school and college, I loved Avril Lavigne's music. I knew Avril Lavigne had gone through health issues and was essentially out of the music business, but I didn't know the whole story. This article was eye-opening, click here to read it.

This song, written through a trying time in her life, really spoke to me. I've been struggling lately and was in tears while watching it. What a beautiful prayer to God.



"God keep my head above water.
Don't let me drown, it gets harder.
I'll meet you there at the alter
as I fall down to my knees."

War Room

So, I was expecting this movie to be cheesy and not well-done. I'm happy, I was wrong. This movie is inspiring, well-done, and attention-grabbing. I felt challenged to pray more and with direction. I was reminded the power of prayer and the way it increases one's relationship with Christ. I have a lot of work to do in all areas of my relationship with Christ. The movie, made me laugh, tear up, and left me challenged. If you've watched it, what did you think? If you haven't watched it, why not?

Resolutions

I made my New Year's Resolutions pretty late this year.

1. I'm not dating for at least the first four months of the year, maybe all year (it's up to God). I took myself outta the game and deleted myself from the two dating sites I was on. Some I'd been on for roughly 8 years. I realized that those sites were a continual source of disappointment and reminder that here were 5 new matches today that were also not going to work. I really felt prompted by God to get outta the game. Even if I've said in the past that I wasn't trying, I always was. I decided to stop trying. Yes, I still notice cute guys, but I've decided to not worry about things. I'm feeling MUCH more comfortable with turning 31 this year, than I did turning 30. There was something emotional about 30. Maybe it was because I realized I didn't have many/any of the things I'd hope I'd have at 30 (married, house, kids, etc.) It's actually been pretty freeing to quit trying.

2. I'm also making a conscience effort to cut down my Facebook and Pinterest time. Now this one is definitely a work in progress, but I want to be among the people living life versus living it through social media.

3. I've also trying to be careful about what I see and listen to, as you think about what you spend your time on. So, no 50 Shades of Grey or Magic Mike for me. I want to have a pure mind and heart. Definitely challenging!

What I hope to fill my time with because of these changes is 1) God; 2) actually living life through spending time with friends, traveling more, going to movies and concerts; 3) focusing more on school. When I'm not addicted to catching up on on social media every morning, I read a devotional with scriptures (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young) and have time to pray. This keeps me in a positive frame of mind heading into work. I've been making a conscience effort to not text, but call and catch up with friends; actually share life. I've started this and it's been refreshing and so rewarding.

Any thoughts? I'm feeling inspired! Are you? What are your resolutions?

Praying for My Enemies

A month and a half ago, while at a women's conference, Wonderful Weekend for Women, with my mom I felt impressed on my heart that I should pray for my enemies. Enemies: those people who have hurt or wrongly treated me or my family, etc. I don't have a lot of people I consider enemies, but I know my attitude toward them isn't pleasing to the Lord, but I've had a hard time reconciling the bad they've done. While, I haven't been the best at remembering to pray for them, the Lord has started to work on one of the worst relationships I had. I know the Lord wants me to bring Him all my concerns and I know He'll keep helping me through them. So, sometime He doesn't change the situation, but He changes us. :)

Here are my favorite posts about prayer from Pinterest:

What helps you forgive?

Fears

Most of my fears revolve around loss of family and dreams.

I want to see more of the world and am scared I never will.

I want to fall in love, but fear I never will again.

I fear I'll get my heart broken again.

I fear I won't get married and have kids

I fear being an awful spouse and mother.

I fear life without my parents and grandma.

I fear being alone.

I fear losing more of my health.

I fear failing.

I fear running into the guy who broke my heart.

I fear public speech.

I fear living an ordinary life.

I'm working to conquer my fears, pray about my fears, and not let them control me. I take comfort in knowing that God has great plans for my life and He will be there through every struggle life may bring. I find a sense of peace in that I never have to handle my fears alone. God walks with me and comforts my heart. So, I give God my fears and let Him hold them.

Weight off my shoulders

Whew, the thing I'd been dreading most this semester is now over. My hour-long group ethics presentation is over! I tried to stay calm, but was initially terrified. I only made it through prayer. Thanks everyone for praying for me!!! My new favorite song, Never Once by One Sonic Society helped me through it too; God is good! Oh, and I got an A on the presentation! AND I found a grading error on my last test and the whole class got two points back! This girl needs all the points back she can get! ;) Okay, enough exclamation points for one post. ;)