Taking a Chance

I got my heart shredded at the beginning of this year, it was the first time I'd ever been in love. After five months, I'm getting over it, but it's tainted my optimism and thoughts on love. It made me scared and it at times made me never want to try again. The pain was beyond words. The thought of being vulnerable again brought fear. So, I hadn't been very open to or even seeking love since then. Maybe that's bad or maybe it's good, but I just needed more time.

Somehow, someone worked their way into my life and made me brave enough to think that I could try again. He was an open book, ready to tell me who he was and share his stories with me. The guy who broke my heart was more of a closed, guarded book. This openness was refreshing. Our times together were filled with laughter and conversation. They were great!

In the end, we didn't work out. There wasn't a huge fight or hurt feelings. Just a conversation about how our lives included vastly different things; priorities I couldn't give up and that he wasn't going to ask me give up. We had talked about deal breakers on our first date and he was kind enough to bring up the difference to ask where we were going to go with it, instead of ignoring it as most people would do. I so appreciate how upfront and honest he was. So, despite our attraction and chemistry, we decided to be friends, since we enjoy each other's company. I think, if he hadn't been this thoughtful, we wouldn't be able to be friends now. To be honest, I've never been friends with someone I've dated or gone on dates with. Previously, one or the other of us has wanted to cut ties and move on. This is new.
Do you agree with this quote?

Have you been able to be friends with people you've dated?

It's Not You, It's Me by Louie Giglio

The temps on the cold, March Sunday are below zero, so it wasn't wise for me to venture out into the cold to go to church. :( Instead I stayed home and watched a video from Louie Giglio that I hadn't been able to finish some time ago. He made some great points and helped give me perspective. It's mainly about dating and life. Check it out: e He encouraged listeners to do several things:
1) Ask-those close to you for 2-3 things they see in your life that are keeping you from being the person God wants you to be. You can't get mad at them or try to defend yourself.
2) Confirm-if several people agree on the things you should change it must be true. Tell them what others said and see if they agree.
3) Plan-figure out how you're going to work on those things.
4) Act-put the plan in place.
5) Ask again, if the plan isn't working, come up with a new one.

He said something that resonated with me, "the key to becoming is beginning."

I hope you enjoy this video as much as I have. Any thoughts on it?

Profile of Dates

Profile of the types of guys I've gone out with...

I generally go out with guys no more than fours years younger and no more than four years older. It wasn't until I started writing this that I realized that. I guess, I'd be willing to go up to six years older, but really no younger than four years.

I used to take a boxing class for two years, so I went out with two boxers. One was a bad boy and that didn't last long. The other kinda broke my heart. I've gone out with Army and Air Force guys, enlisted and officer. One I met after he backed into my car at a toll plaza. I've gone on dates with two guys from dating sites; fail. I've gone out with farmers; yes, this surprises me too. I've also been set up on blind dates twice; both were really nice guys. The last was the most recent date. I've also been on dates with two guys who I unfortunately later found out had girlfriends. One even looked like the actor Luke Wilson...

So, if I'm remembering correctly; I've been on dates with 13 guys for a total of roughly 21 dates. Small numbers, I know, but all I need is one great guy. I'm still hoping for my last first date. :)

If any of those profiles spark your interest, comment and I'll tell the story. I feel like no one reads this thing, but my viewer count is over 415. It also claims, I have readers from literally all over the world! Welcome to my world!

Dating Sites..I feel like I've tried them all

I've tried Eharmony, Match.com, Christian Mingle, and Plenty of Fish. What did I think of them?

Well, Plenty of Fish was the disaster of the bunch. I was barraged with guys ranging in age from 20 to 50s. Pretty much inundated with every kind of guy I WASN'T looking for. As an example of how bad it was; the guy from the disasterous, cheese date; met him on Plenty of Fish. They can keep their fish; I'm moving to another pond! I only lasted a week on there anyway.

Match never gives me what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a Christian and my daily matches are an array of agnostics, atheists, and the like. Not impressed. They don't filter well. Older men love me on that site...sigh. Thankfully, my membership expires this week.

Eharmony...it definitely has it's faults, but my matches are way better quality than the two previous sites. The problem? Most of the quality guys live several hours away. Gave up my membership there.

Lastly, Christian Mingle. Let me start out by saying my mom means well, she really does. One day, roughly three years ago, I got a call from her while at work. After some somewhat odd questions, I ask what she's doing. Can you guess? She signed me up for Christian Mingle and even started my profile and added photos for me. I wasn't upset; I just kind of found it well...amusing. So, at that time I was overwhelmed with guys in their 50s trying to talk to me or guys with multiple kids (including babies that were hot out of the oven). As a result, I backed away from the site. What brought me back was the coaxing of several family members. I know they mean well, but I guess they're also worried about my single state. It seems Christian Mingle's advertising was working; on my family. So, I'm back. My complaint about the site; you don't actually have to attend church to use the site. For me, my faith and attending church goes hand-in-hand. The guy from my first blog I met on Mingle. We'll see...