Taking a Chance

I got my heart shredded at the beginning of this year, it was the first time I'd ever been in love. After five months, I'm getting over it, but it's tainted my optimism and thoughts on love. It made me scared and it at times made me never want to try again. The pain was beyond words. The thought of being vulnerable again brought fear. So, I hadn't been very open to or even seeking love since then. Maybe that's bad or maybe it's good, but I just needed more time.

Somehow, someone worked their way into my life and made me brave enough to think that I could try again. He was an open book, ready to tell me who he was and share his stories with me. The guy who broke my heart was more of a closed, guarded book. This openness was refreshing. Our times together were filled with laughter and conversation. They were great!

In the end, we didn't work out. There wasn't a huge fight or hurt feelings. Just a conversation about how our lives included vastly different things; priorities I couldn't give up and that he wasn't going to ask me give up. We had talked about deal breakers on our first date and he was kind enough to bring up the difference to ask where we were going to go with it, instead of ignoring it as most people would do. I so appreciate how upfront and honest he was. So, despite our attraction and chemistry, we decided to be friends, since we enjoy each other's company. I think, if he hadn't been this thoughtful, we wouldn't be able to be friends now. To be honest, I've never been friends with someone I've dated or gone on dates with. Previously, one or the other of us has wanted to cut ties and move on. This is new.
Do you agree with this quote?

Have you been able to be friends with people you've dated?

30 Things About Me/Things I've Learned in My 30 Years

1. It's better to have a few close friends than to have a lot of surface-level friendships
2. I need friends who encourage me to be me, not them
3. I have more people in my corner than I realize
4. Now is always the right time to apologize and try to make the relationship right. They may not accept your apology, but it still means something and you still did the right thing.
5. Eating healthy really does make all the difference
6. Any amount of exercise is better than none
7. Laughing really is the best medicine
8. Learn something from every situation; even bad ones. Don't let the lesson be wasted.
9. Sometimes it's okay to open up and let people know you're struggling; we're all human. People appreciate realness.
10. Nothing makes me happier than planning a trip and of course taking that trip ;)
11. Journaling has been a life-saver and helps me process how I'm feeling about things
12. I'm a processor; I need time to process through my thoughts and emotions
13. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is find your voice and stand up for yourself
14. Prayer and my relationship with God get me through each day. He is my Strength!
15. My love language is words of affirmation. Say something sincere and sweet and I'll never forget it. I save e-mails and cards with kind words. On bad days, I reflect on those words.
16. Working out helps me unwind, otherwise I'm tense and a bear ;)
17. You become like your friends, so choose friends carefully
18. Dancing makes me happy
19. I take pride in cooking and baking; I love to try new recipes
20. Sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself. It's a better alternative to crying.
21. Reading is the next best thing to traveling; it makes me feel like I'm somewhere else
22. I love the feel of the sun on my skin
23. I will cry tears of joy when I finish my Masters; less than 3 years to go now ;)
24. I fall down, but I always get back up. I'm stronger than I think, because I have God in my life.
25. I'm a list maker and get great joy from crossing things off my list
26. I'm a wild woman when I'm on a jet ski; I've gone up to 49 mph after which I've panicked, screamed, and let off the gas!
27. I have killer road rage!
28. Prayer changes everything; especially me
29. Never take your relationships for granted. I have the best friends and family ever!
30. I love naps!!!

Sacrifice

I've grown up near a military town (Fort Riley, Kansas) my whole life. I've had family members that have served in the military, as well as friends. I have a great respect for our military members, their families, and our veterans.

In my first job, I was able to see a snapshot of the highs and lows that our military members face. I went to redeployment ceremonies and despite not knowing anyone coming back, I felt the surge of emotion and anticipation. What an experience! You see people trying to find their family members amongst a sea of fatigues in formation. Parents are seeing their newborn babies for the first time, it's beautiful. To share the joys, you should also share the sorrows. Nothing could have prepared me for the first memorial service I went to on post. As community members, I went with coworkers to show our support. What I experienced has shaped my view that every American should attend a military memorial service and a redeployment ceremony. It changed my life. I cried for the sacrifice of someone I'd never known who paid the price for my freedom with their life. I heard of the character, family, and life of the Soldier. I heard the pain of the loss of those who knew him. I was touched by the military traditions. It was everything I could do to hold myself together through role call and I can't think of anything else more painful to hear. I could describe it, but to experience it literally shook my world. The 21 gun salute outside the chapel, made me and others jump. Lastly, as you file out of the chapel by the boots, rifle, and dogtags of the deceased; each Soldier stops and salutes. It's a very solemn, respectful moment. I stopped said a prayer for their family and left changed. The experience gave me more empathy and a snapshot into the realities of war and what sacrifice really means. I give money to causes I believe in, but some give their lives. As the saying goes, freedom isn't free. I'm thankful to live near a military base; it's changed me as a person and I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for the numerous friends I've made during their time at Fort Riley; they've all enriched my life. I've made some friends that I know I'll always have.

I finally watched Act of Valor with the fam, tonight. What a great movie! It made me reflect on the incredible sacrifice and training of our military. It's about Navy Seals. Obviously, there was lots of violence, but I still recommend the movie. At the end of the movie, they quoted a beautiful passage by Tecumseh that I'd never heard. Well, you all know I love quotes, so here it goes:


Yes, the movie and Tecumseh's words made me cry. It made me think of the sacrifice of our military and their family; grateful.

So, thinking of sacrifice I'd can't help but think of the sacrifice of Christ on the cross for my sins. Dying for people who don't deserve it and who hated him; that's love.

What I'm Thankful For

I literally could spend hours listing all my blessing, because they are many. I'll try to keep this short and sweet.
I'm thankful for:

my parents; I haven't always appreciated them, but God has given me many circumstances that have helped me realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. When my dad had a TIA (pre-stroke), I realized just how much of a hole would be missing in my life without him. Whatever sense of humor I have; I got it from him. Any car maintenance, moving, or support I need he's always there, ready to lend a hand. His cancer bout several years ago brought us all much closer. Though he'll never be quite the same from the surgery, I'm just happy he's still here. My mom is the calm, steady rock in our family. Her lung disease diagnosis last year rocked our world. Despite the pain and lack of energy, she was still positive. What a blessing. We're all living with a new normal, but the point is that we're still living. Just over five years ago, I faced an trying nine months of doctors doing many test but not knowing what was wrong with me. Between the pain and steriods I didn't feel like myself. My parents had to help me with everything; carrying my groceries, opening things for me, and they drove me to every out-of-town doctors appointment and there were many. Rheumatoid arthritis has been a difficult journey, but I'm thankful for the company God has given me along the way. I'm so blessed that I get to see my parents at least once a week. I love going home!

my grandma; she's a strong woman. When I feel too old to do something, I remember that in her mid-30s with 6 kids, she put herself through nursing school to become an LPN and make a better life for her family. Despite being on a fixed-income, she is always generous with whatever she has. It doesn't matter what time you come to her house she always offers you food and drink; you never leave hungry. She's also pretty wise; always reminding me to "take it one day at a time" and to pray and ask the Lord for help.

both sides of my family which are really close. I know, if I ever needed anything they'd be right there ready to help. Over the years, I've realized not all families are like this.

our fur faces, Max and Riley. They're always happy to see me when I come home, but then again, they're always pretty happy. Reminds me to enjoy the simple things like the sunshine, time together with friends or family, fresh air, a treat, or a nap. ;)

my job; through it I get to impart on students what I'm passionate about: workforce development/professional development. I've also made great friends through my job. In just over a year, I've had experiences I never would've dreamed of: grad school, being in a commercial, and being a K-State Track and Field official. I'm definitely blessed to be at K-State.

friends. Though my friends are ever-cycling out of town, I'm thankful for the time I've had with each of them. I appreciate their perspectives and companionship on this journey through life.

In no way whatsoever, is this a complete list of everything I'm thankful for; like stars in the sky, my blessings are innumberable.