Monday, May 18, 2015

Franky, Part 2

Last fall, I wrote Franky: Part One. Franky, our golden retriever made friends with everyone he met and everyone loved him.

My senior year of high school we moved to 20 acres and a house we built in the country. Franky loved it and ran all over the land.

In college, I lived at home and each time someone came home, Franky would run to greet you; he was the best welcoming party ever. I hated writing papers and always had to go to the basement computer to write. I always had trouble getting started and I was nervous. Franky would generally come downstairs away from the rest of the family to help me get started. Hours in once I had a nice flow going, he would venture back upstairs. He was such a giver.

One night, we all watched a movie together and after everyone went back upstairs, but I had another dreaded paper to write. Franky must've sensed my stress and resumed his spot by the computer to help me get started.

The next day changed the rest of our lives forever. I went to work and school, where my mom called to say Franky was lying outside and wouldn't eat anything. He loved eating human food, so I suggested she offer him a piece of bread, which she had and he refused. I was shocked. After he stayed stuck in that one spot all day, my mom had my dad come home early from work to take Franky to the vet. After work, I joined them. They were doing doing tests. Before his little surgery we said bye and watched them cart him down the hall. He looked at us with those beautiful tigers eye-colored eyes. They did a little surgery and found that he was septic; his bowel was perforated. With his being septic, he would have to have it as an open wound. The dangers of him being septic were large, living with an open wound is dangerous and they suspected cancer. The odds of him living was 25% and there were dangers of him having complications. There was nothing else they could do for him. We wailed in that waiting room. He had seemed so fine before and now we were making the hardest decision of our lives. We always said we'd pay whatever to keep him alive, but keeping him alive wasn't an option anymore unless we left him with an open wound only to wait for the end with him in pain. We were devastated. Franky had spent over 10 years being the best member of our family. It was hard to reconcile that he'd be fine just the day before and had selflessly helped me with my paper just the night before. While Franky was our family dog, my mom spend 24 hours a day with him and they were beyond close. Though my dad and I hated to admit it, we knew the best option for our baby, was to put him down. Nowhere was there a scenario where he would live and it broke our hearts. We made mom make the call about what to do and decided there was no better option for him. We wailed and our vet cried with us.

My parents stayed to wait to take home his body and I went home. What I didn't realized was that I'd be arriving home where Franky wouldn't be there to great me. The grief was hard to put into words. I couldn't stand to be alone in my room, though Franky always stayed in my parent's room. I cried myself to sleep every night for at least a week. I awoke every day to my dad crying. Franky got up with my dad early every morning and now dad was alone. I used to complain about all the blonde/red hair on my clothes, but as time passed his said disappeared from our clothes and I would've given anything to have my furry puppy back.

Over 13 years have gone by since his passing and we still miss him dearly. He and I had a special bond having grown up together. Through him I learned about love, forgiveness and joy in the simple things. I learned that love is about the small things. We loved him and he loved us. For me, he'll always be the best dog ever. Miss you, Franky! <3

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Monsoon in Manhattan

Late afternoon and evening Monday, May 4th, the weather here in Manhattan, KS got crazy. The downpour was intense and caused flooding unlike I'd ever seen in my life.
I left work about 5:30 planning to head to the gym. I ran through the rain and jumped over a rover of water that soaked my shoes. So, I decided to go home. On the main road heading home, I saw police lights up ahead. So, I took a shortcut to miss it. Once I met another main road, I saw all the standing water and all the tentative drivers. Here's what I experienced. Just past this, I saw the first stalled car, a muscle car, Dodge Charger. I turned back into the main road home and saw some several stalled cars and lots of water.
Here we see stalled vehicles, mainly muscle cars, and drivers of those cars standing on the median. I was overwhelemed with the amount of water and was unsure if my small Jetta would survive. As, I trekked on the road ahead seemed a daunting with all the water, so I thought I should try a side street, then decided that wouldn't be the best idea, so I kept going on. There were waves of water hitting my car and I was waiting for water to start to start seeping in my car. I kept praying that I could get home safely.
I live down from a roundabout and as I approached it reminded me of an abandoned carosel at an amusement park. Cars were stuck on it with many up on the curbs. The key part was that nothing was moving. So, I turned down a side street and planned to take a turn down a side street to arrive home, but I saw other cars who had tried that and failed. I kept driving and looking at side streets. I found one and turned down. I was so happy to finally get home!
This one of the scariest things I saw.

To check out the KSHB News website to see my photos on their webpage.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Experiences That Changed Me, Part 1

When American Sniper came out last fall, I wanted to see it, but wasn't sure I could handle it's intensity. I have lots of friends in the military, live in a military community, and worked in a job where I was involved in the local base (Fort Riley, KS) and traveled to military bases across the United States. Those experiences changed the way I see the world forever. I'll share a few of the experiences that most changed me.

One of the posts I traveled to was Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, TX. It is home to the 2nd largest military hospital in the U.S., San Antonio Military Medical Center formerly Brooke Army Medical Center (BAMC). I hadn't thought of what that would mean for my trip, but I sure did learn. Lots of companies were there for the career fair I was at representing my employer and among the masses of Soldiers attending were many Soldiers who were amputees missing one or two limbs or had disfiguring burns across their whole bodies. They were there shaking hands and looking for employment like everyone else. Seeing their injuries and children there with them tugged at my heart. They weren't at home wallowing in sorrow, like I knew I would be doing if I'd been in their shoes. They were resilient. I swelled with pride in the strength of our Soldiers and I grew more as a person that day as my gratitude for their sacrifice grew as well.

As a member of the community, my company was invited to attend all kinds of military ceremonies at Fort Riley: change of command, deployment, redeployment, casing of colors, and memorials to name a few. I attended dozens of ceremonies during my 5.5 years at that job. Of all the ceremonies I attended two types of ceremonies most changed me; redeployment and memorials.

I first attended a redeployment ceremony as a community member and observer. They often were at the craziest times like 4am, but I wanted to experience them. For me the experience was in a way indescribable. Entering the large, sterile gym anticipation was so thick in the air you could almost taste it, people were fidgety waiting for their loved ones to finally arrive after a long deployment and restless children cried, many of whom hadn't been born when their fathers had deployed. The wait for the Soldiers to finally arrived felt like forever. Though I didn't know a soul returning, I was filled with anticipation for them. The Soldiers file into formation, families frantically search the nearly identical rows of uniformed Soldiers for their loved ones. The commander speaks for a few minutes, which feels like hours to the restless crowd. Then he releases the Soldiers and the search begins. Fathers meet their babies for the first time, families laugh and cry, the experience and emotions are unforgettable.

Just two years ago, I attended another redeployment ceremony. This time, I knew someone coming back. One of my good friends was returning from a year in Afghanistan. Every parking lot within a 1/4 mile of the gym was packed along with all streets. Snow was on the ground. The gym was packed to the brim. I stood in a hoard of people near the entrance and couldn't see a thing. I again felt the anticipation and emotion of it all. Babies cried, people strained to see a glimpse of their loved one, and with the anticipation of it all I teared up. Once the Soldiers were dismissed, I worked through the crowd to try to find my friend and her parents. I made it just in time to see my friend's dad find her. The emotion on his face as he hugged her struck my heart.

The one ceremony to most effect me were the memorials. My coworker briefed me of some of the emotional parts of the ceremony, but no words could ever have properly prepared me. We stepped into a beautiful chapel on post and sat in a pew towards the back. Fellow Soldiers shared their memories of their departed friends. After that,things happened in an order I can't quite remember. A lone trumpet played the always emotional "Taps." Next was roll call, it was much more devastating then even I had been able to imagine. The First Sergeant begins roll call, calling the rank and last name of Soldiers in the company ex) "Sgt. Smith." Sgt. Smith answers back, "here, First Sergeant." Roll call continues with the First Sergeant calling out the the rank and last name of several Soldiers, they in turn answer back, "here First Sergeant." Then he comes to the deceased Soldier. He calls their rank and last name. The silence is deafening. All you want is for that Soldier to be able to answer back. The First Sergeant then continues calling the deceased Soldier's rank, first name, and last name. The silence continues on for what feels like forever as your heart breaks. A final time the First Sergeant calls out the rank, first name, middle name, and last name of the the deceased Soldier into silence that makes me cry to even think about it. Into the silence, outside the chapel you hear the 21-gun salute. It feels like it comes out of nowhere and literally jolts you. The room is full of unbearable sorrow. The following video captures in a small way what the memorial was like. I will say, it's not for the faint of heart and brought back all the emotions I felt that day over 8 years ago. I hope even in a small way that it helps you and I realize the depth of sacrifice of our outstanding military. I feel that every American should attend a military memorial to better understand the sacrifice and the gift of our freedom, which is far from free.

Seeing American Sniper brought back some of my memories back. I thought the movie would feature lots of fight scenes, but it really focused on Chris Kyles' relationships with his family and friends. His skill as a sniper was unbelievable and saved so many lives. In the end, it reminded me of the strength and sacrifice of our military. In addition, it made me proud to be an American. The movie ended so sadly, but it made me thankful for people like Chris Kyle and it brought the important issue of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) back into people's minds. It's real and it's crippling even for the strongest of people. I've had friends who've battled it. We definitely need to address the hard issues and help our Soldiers heal. God bless America!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

See You Again, Music Video from Furious 7

Props to Charlie Puth and Wiz Khalifa on this touching tribute to Paul Walker. If you ask me, Paul Walker made the Fast & Furious series. Never thought I'd be a fan of anything Wiz Khalifa; happily surprised. I still need to see the movie; so ready!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Being an Only Child

I grew up as an only child. When my single mom got married, they wanted, but weren't able to have more kids. Often I'm asked by people with a young child to share my thoughts on it. Mainly they want me to say that I'm glad I didn't have siblings. As a child, I was happy to be the only child; I didn't have to share my parents. I wasn't spoiled with new cars and vacations like most people assume; my parents wanted me to learn the value of working hard for things like they did, which I now appreciate.

As I've gotten older, I realize what being an only child will really mean for me. When my dad went through a TIA (pre-stroke) and later cance,r I felt like I needed to be at all major appointments and obviously surgery. When my mom was suffering from and finally diagnosed with a lung disease I was there for all key appointments and when she had a lung biopsy (one of the most trying times in my life). The burden of my concern for them and the seriousness of each of their health issues jolted my whole life. They both told me I didn't have to be there for everything, but I did. I felt a great responsibility to be there to care for and comfort them. For these reasons and God's leading in my life, I've decided to spend my life in my hometown, near my family. I knew I would regret not being there if I ever moved away and I've realized I couldn't live with it. I asked my mom if all only children feel this way and she thought it was probably just me and the responsibility I put on myself. Since I'm the only child, I feel I should be there for them and I want to.

What is difficult is not having someone to go through this with. Not having someone to talk through things with that really know what I'm going through, someone to split responsibilities with. I get that some only children might have a significant other to go through this with, but I don't and it's hard. I know one day I'll have to possibly make some hard decisions essentially alone and that thought is overwhelming. I do find comfort in that God is always with me, so essentially I'm not alone, but having a sibling would be nice.

Also, I feel more responsibility to take care of myself since I'm all my parents have. I can't be reckless ever or at least I feel I can't be. They always tell me to be careful and stay safe, literally every time I talk to them. So, no cliff diving for me ;) To be a little more serious, I know I'm huge part of their world and that I have to be around for them.

In the end, everyone must make a decision on what they think is best for there family, but I would never plan to only have one child. There are definitely more challenges and things you have to think about is deciding what's best for your family. If you ask me how many kids I want, it's always been 4. Essentially the opposite of one child.

Do you have any thoughts on the subject? I'd love to hear!

Thursday, April 9, 2015

31

Today I turned 31 and had a fantastic day! Some of my day was spent at work, studying, and taking a finance test. Then I got to get a pedicure at Bellus Academy; what I love!!! My toes are now a beautiful teal with sparkly hot pink tips! I got dinner with my family. My mom made my very favorite cake, carrot cake and it was so good! They got my favorite ice cream, Call Hall, purple pride. I got this super cute Samsonite, carry on luggage. I've been admiring the new robin's egg blue colored nail polish and I got this OPI polish called, Can't Find My Czechbook. Then got a purple orchid plant, which is my favorite flower! End of the day, I finally got to catch up on my favorite shows which makes me happy.

Though I maybe didn't say it online, last year I took turning 30 quite hard. I'd just gone through my very first heartbreak and I didn't have any of the things I thought I would at 30 like marriage, family, and the white, picket fence.

This year, I don't fear adding another year to the tally. You see, I've earned those years. I've lived the heck out of each and every year to the best of my ability. This life has been an absolute roller coaster, but it's the life God gave me. So, I'm looking forward to 31 and have given my life timeline to God.

So, now I'll leave you with a saying I like and my life verse that brings me hope Jeremiah 29:11-14



Happy Birthday to me! :)

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Broken

I happened upon this set of unique vows that really touched my heart. They made me laugh, cry, and hope. I appreciated the honesty and realness of her words. Hopefully, one day God brings someone into my life who will love me through my brokenness too. In many ways, I know that we're all broken and being worked on by God daily. I'm thankful for His patience with my slow learning process. He is good!


Along with the theme of being broken, I wanted to share the song, Broken Together, by Casting Crowns.


Lyrics
What do you think about when you look at me
I know were not the fairy tale you dreamed wed be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we've drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night

Its going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I'm praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we wont give up the fight

Description:
Mark Hall, Bernie Herms

“Marriage is tough. We bring a lot of fairytales to the picture when it comes to marriage. We bring them to the altar with us [thinking]: ‘This is going to be perfect. We don’t have to be apart. We can just wake up together every morning and no one is going to have morning breath. We’re not going to have any problems.’ And then the problems hit and you don’t know where to file those into your picture. . . The idea I’m trying to say is: ‘Can you lay down who you thought I was and love the ‘me’ that is? Can we take this from where we are now and realize that I can’t be that person?’ Only God is going to be able to make this work and broken people can be broken together. To me, it’s probably the most important song on the record.”

© 2013 Sony/ATV Tree Publishing (BMI) All rights on behalf of Sony/ATV Tree Publishing administered by Sony/ATV. / My Refuge Music (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) / Songs of Universal, Inc. (BMI) / G650 Music (BMI)

Thoughts?

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Insurgent

As you may remember from previous posts, I'm a huge fan of the Divergent series. I read and loved the three-book series. I enjoyed the first movie in the series so very much. The characters feel real, despite the other-worldly premise. To me, the series feels similar to Hunger Games with the strong female lead and action sequences.

Insurgent opens on the factions being displaced. Tris, Tobias (Four), and a few other Dauntless are holed up with one of the very passive, peaceable factions. That doesn't bode well with spit-fire Tris. Her fire gets them nearly kicked out of their safe haven. Soon they're tracked by Jeanine lackies including the former Dauntless leader, Eric. Jeanine has sent them in search of Divergents to help Jeanine open the box. It can only be opened by a Divergent who can pass all five of the factions simulations. Everyone she finds to try to open it isn't Divergent enough and ends up dying during the simulations. So, the search for a more Divergent person continues. Eventually, they test Tris and see that she's 100% Divergent; just what Jeanine has been looking for, but shes in safety, so they start brainwashing her friends to commit suicide unless she gives herself up. Tris can't see people dying "because" of her, so unbeknownst to everyone she turns herself in to save the others. Once hooked up to the simulator, she see her brother on Jeanine's side. The simulations nearly kill her. So, they get a break for Tris. On the way back to her holding cell, she sees Tobias in a nearby cell; he came to save her. In the end, instead of leaving or stealing the box, she decides she needs to open it. When it's opened, it's supposed to have a message from the founders of the factions. So, her and Tobias break into the testing room and bunker down in there. Once through the simulation, the founder's video message is shared, just as Jeanine and her lackies break into the lab. The video tells that there is life outside of the factions and that they should enter the real world when they're ready. I look forward to the last Divergent movie, Allegiant.



I need a new series of books to read, what do you suggest?

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks is one of America's most beloved actors with the ability to play so many different and memorable characters. So, I was excited to see that he's still staying current with the following two videos.

Carly Rae Jepsen's music video, I Really Like You is fun, catchy, and features our much loved Tom Hanks. He charmingly lip syncs the entire song and even does a little choreographed dancing; love! I think, it's my jam of the year. It always makes me smile and I hope it makes you smile too.

I came across this fabulous clip on Facebook today. It was from the Late Late Show with James Corden and is literally every Tom Hanks movie in 8 minutes. It was funny, creative, and made me love Tom Hanks even more. I now want to watch all his movies and can't wait to see what he stars in next; he's so very talented!

What do you think?

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

TV Show Addictions

Since I moved from cable to Hulu Plus earlier this year, I've had to find new shows to follow vs. click around and find something interesting to watch. It's kind of been harder than I thought, but I love the massive savings from switching to cable. I spent roughly $70/month vs. $7.99/month. For a yearly savings of roughly $744.12.

The shows:
Hart of Dixie is about a NY doctor that moves to Blue Belle, Mississippi to be a small town doctor. The cast of characters is so fun! Take a peak:

Jane the Virgin is another show I'm addicted too. It's about a Latina woman in her 20s. It represents a lot of what its like to be in a Hispanic family.

Millionaire Matchmaker-I know some people don't like Patty Stanger, but I love her no-nonsense, blunt approach. I just finished Season 7 on Hulu Plus.

About a Boy is about a quirky, British mother (played by the lovable Minnie Driver), her nerdy young son, and her attractive, Peter Pan-esque male neighbor. Every episode is always funny and relatable to a degree.

America's Next Top Model is full of drama and fashion. I could never do it. I just finished Season 21.

Top Chef matches with my deep love of cooking and innovation. My favorite chef just won on Season 11.

Any shows that I should add to my Watchlist? :)